My apologies for the minuscule text in the image, here it is in larger font:

Peace talks saw yesterday a positive development, when the Likpa representative announced that his army abandonned the development of anti-tank shells, especially in tungsteen, a dreadful weapons which brings an atrocious death to the unhappy tankist. So hope is high again, in front of the looming threat of a war between our two brother peoples. However the Likpa representative merged his offer with an unacceptable condition, that the Phallo army would not equip with tanks, which would ruin our industry and create unemployment. The syndilikpas already announced protestations.

The stock exchange daily: Inis Financials +0.2; REM +0.4; Phallax -0.2; Anmunition Corps +6.5; PIWI -0.3; Royal Tyres +0.4; Super Phally -0.5;

My apologies for the minuscule text in the image, here it is in larger font:

Usually, few information are released out of the ULO meetings. At best, we just get a final delaration, thouroughly watered down and expurgated of any revealing feature. However yesterday Grand Meeting went over all our expectations. From the beginning, shoutings were clearly heard from the press room, as if a dispute was going on. But the end fulfilled all our hopes: the delegate of the Rastalikpas, visibly angry, shouted all around: «Never the Rastalikpas will engage into the foolishness of anti-tank weapons. We are a peaceful people, interested only into nature and spirituality». So we encourage them, in the name of all those fear a counter natural alliance between the Likpas and the Rastalikpas, on a background of jamalikan tungsteen.